How do I love?

Have you noticed how many books are out there that tell us the best way to love people? Just in the Christian realm, there are books that tell us of different "languages" we use to love our spouse and to feel loved. They tell us that providing security, routine, and quality time communicate love to our children. And I must say these books have been helpful. But do they really explain the essence of love? They tell us how to make people "feel" loved, but does that mean there is real love present? The other day while studying through 2 John, I read a verse that brought much clarity to a question I've asked myself many times. How do I love people?

I know love is not a feeling. I've been married long enough to know that the mushy-gushy feeling waxes and wanes. But I still love my husband very much. I've had kids long enough to know that sometimes I just don't "feel" very loving toward them - such as when I'm exhausted and they keep asking questions and making big messes. But I know I still love them and would give my life for them if need be.

Sometimes I feel very loving toward other people, and it's easy to act loving toward them. But what about when I don't "feel" loving? How do I love people?

2 John 3:18 first tells us what "fake" love is, and what real love is. "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth." Telling my husband, my children, and others that I love them are words that fall flat if there is no deed, no pillar of truth to hold them up. So then, how do I love people?

"By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome."

It all rests on loving God. When we truly believe God, we seek to follow Him and His Way. When you begin seeking his Way, it's not long before you find that His Way is one that conforms you to Christ. And when you start becoming Christ-like, you start putting others before yourself, as He did. You become less irritated, and more patient. You become less critical, and more merciful. You become less concerned about your image, and more concerned about his Image. And as we become more like Him, we then become more capable of truly loving others. Love becomes a lifestyle, not simply a "flash" of love here and there.

It can all start to sound very theoretical. But when we seek Him daily, through His Word and through prayer, He is faithful to convict us and show us how to follow His ways. And how freeing it is to know that "His commandments are not burdensome"! With others, "If you love me" can be followed by demands, guilt trips, or manipulations. But God's commands have our best interests at heart.

So when we choose to follow God's ways (and rely on the Holy Spirit to empower us!), we will start to act in ways that convey love. And as I heard a godly lady say a long time ago, "Right actions bring right feelings." But even if our emotions are not always what we wish they were, it helps to remember that feelings can be fleeting and and are influenced by so many things. Our actions, on the other hand, speak volumes and have long-lasting impact.

Studying the Word shows me what true love looks like. And the more I study, the more the Holy Spirit can convict me and change me into someone who loves as I should. So as good as it is to read books on how to love my husband, how to love my children, and how to be a more loving friend, only one Book (and the relationship I have with its Author) will bring about the supernatural change that I so desperately need. And in that truth, there is beautiful freedom.

Already Seven

He's already seven.

Just a few, short years ago, he had chubby cheeks and legs.

Those chubby little legs would run as fast as they could to follow after Daddy so the chubby little hands could help.

And now he's seven. He can put his own toys together.

He can play first base.

He can read stories to his brother.

Once he decided to start moving and talking (he was rather laid back concerning both), he became quite the little worker. This year, he tried hard (most days) to finish his school work, and loved to report to me how far he had gotten (especially if he could get to the craft or game time at the end). He decided that he wanted to be better at catching the baseball - so he practiced and practiced, and ended up playing first base for most of his games. He loves his brother and sister - enough to get an extra piece of candy for Daniel if he falls asleep in church on Sunday night; and enough to worry about Addie in the yard, the parking lot, the grocery store, the church lobby.... (But at least he loves her!)

With his brother and his buddies at his birthday party

We love our seven-year-old Thomas!

And Another One

Today, I decided to post my second-favorite lunch (at least, lately). Please don't be scared. This blog will not become a chronicle of what I eat every day. I promise. Last "lunch post" for a while, okay?

Ever since Kim H. introduced the chick pea and me, by way of hummus, I am majorly tempted by recipes that contain them. The only problem is that Travis doesn't seem to be as crazy about them as I am. So I have to stick to eating them for lunch. That is why I was SO EXCITED when I saw this recipe on the Picky Palate (you can find it on my sidebar). It's definitely become one of my favorite lunches. So, here is how I fix it! (Wow. If one of my former English students had used the word "fix" in that manner, there would be some red ink on that page! But, fortunately, this is a blog! :D)


Chick Pea Salad

Baby arugula
1 can of chick peas (drained)
roasted red peppers, chopped

Dressing:
1/3 cup olive oil
juice of 1 lemon
1/2 tsp. salt
pepper to taste


Mix the dressing ingredients and pour over the chick peas. Spoon roasted red peppers over greens, and then spoon chick peas/dressing over the top.

I store the 3 main parts to the salad separately, and then make a fresh salad each day for a few days.

If you have a good summer lunch idea, feel free to leave a comment!

The First One

My first tomatoes this summer.

The essential elements to the perfect summer-sandwich.
Especially the basil: a must-have.

This sandwich needs a good, salty side. Rippled chips, preferably.

Sigh. The first tomato sandwich.

Summer-lunch doesn't get any better than this!

Two-day Read

I love to get my hands on a new book! I'm one of those people that looks forward to plopping down on my little corner of the loveseat, propping my feet up, and reading a good book. Of course, this happens AFTER the kids go to bed or on a Sunday afternoon. Otherwise, it's pointless. While trying to concentrate on what I'm reading, my thoughts are intercepted and taken to the realm of Star Wars. Little boys want me to have analytical conversations about Obi Won, Yoda, and droids. I'm sure I didn't spell those correctly, but it just goes to show how Star-Wars ignorant I am. I do alot of nodding, "Ohhh!"s, and "You'll have to ask you Daddy about that." (I really try to emphasize Daddy in these conversations!)

So, anyways, now that you know how tired I am of Star Wars, let me tell you about a book that I LOVED! It's Beth Moore's A Taste of Believing God. Apparently, she has a full-length book called Believing God, but this one is less than 70 pages. A good two-day read. I downloaded mine from ibooks because it was so cheap ($1.99). That's probably part of the reason I was so pleasantly surprised how good it is! Over the last couple of years, I've been much more aware of how the Lord is growing my faith. In light of that, this book was a treat to read. Here's a little excerpt :

"Beloved, we can't presently and actively serve God in our day-to-day challenges if we are not presently and actively in His Word....Further, liberty in Christ becomes a reality in life through knowing and applying God's word, not just taking our Bibles to church or keeping them on our nightstands." (p. 62, ibook)

So much truth right there! This little book was definitely an encouragement to me - it challenged my thinking in a couple of areas and reminded me of truths that I must keep close to my heart.

Here's a link to Amazon if you're interested in checking it out.